How are you? How are the children? They’re so frequently asked I find I’m wanting to develop a canned response. But then I remind myself that people do care and really want to know; its why they’re asking. They just don’t know what else to say. Usually I don’t have time for an adequate response but if I did it would sound something like this:
I can’t help but smile in gratefulness at our children. Sure they can be petty and they irritate each other at times…normal immaturity, but when Luke ambles up to me, hugs me tight and whispers, “You mean the world to me dad!” I melt inside and gather him up in a bear hug. Or when Megan bounces up, every bit the quintessential 13 (almost 14) year old, and plants a smiling kiss, braces and all, on my lips and says, “I love you dad.” I know I’m blessed and can’t help but stay engaged with and keep building this living legacy that best captures the life and spirit of Kristi.
The fall home school semester starts next week, and I’d be lying if I said it was going to be easy. But staying connected to this community and maintaining educational continuity is essential for the children’s healing. Their entire social fabric would be irreparably rended should we change course (or courses, ha!) at this juncture. I am going to be assisted by two families who live nearby. They’ll be taking the boys and covering core subjects with them for three days a week. Add in the fourth day at co-op and that leaves just one day for us to cover our new unit study subject… New Zealand.
Why New Zealand you ask? Because this week I unveiled the surprise trip to the children! We are embarking on a family adventure “down under” to Australia and New Zealand during the holidays. To say they’re excited doesn’t begin to capture the enthusiasm and anticipation that’s already bubbling up in conversations and smiling grins. Our unit study will help them learn more about the people, economy, landscape, history and culture so they’ll be able to better process what they’re experiencing while we are there.
The trip will provide extra motivation to the children to buckle down and get their school work done before we go and it offers us a chance to reset our holiday memories and experiences. That time of year can be tough when you’re missing your wife and mother. This year we will be brimming with anticipation leading up to trip, there will be the trip itself and then when next year finally rolls around, we will be reminding each other about the new lands, strange animals, wondrous reefs and cool accents encountered this year.
The kids still can’t believe we are actually going…that we are talking about flying into Sydney, Aukland and the like. Of course it’s bittersweet. I wanted to take Kristi there. I spent three weeks in Australia during college on a study tour. I promised myself I’d get back there someday. When you realize how short life is, you take action on your dreams.
So we are going. Tickets are booked. Passport applications for Megan, Luke and Matthew go in on Monday. Then we plunge into school, volleyball, drama (theater) and more. Your prayers as I shoulder the home educator mantle are appreciated. Sometimes it still seems like a dream, like I’ll wake up and Kristi will be here and this will all go away. Matthew voiced that very thought on our way home tonight from dinner with my sister.
“Wouldn’t it be cool if mom was walking around the house when we get home?” That stopped the chatter in the car. Yes, it would be cool. And it would wipe away the surreality that each day brings. No we aren’t moping around, the children are cheerful, even joyful. So am I. But Luke nailed it. There is that sense of floating through activities that accompanies shock. You know you’re doing what your supposed to be doing but it all seems to be happening on the other side of a clear glass pane. Like you’re a spectator, watching your life play out but not in ways you expected.
I know it’s part of the process. I’m not in a hurry to short circuit it. My primary goal is stay connected to each other, our family and friends. With Christ as our cornerstone, the pioneer of faith leading us on each day I have hope for the future and even excitement that one day soon we can all say G’Day Mate…and mean it from the depths of our being.
B-Gone, B-9, B-Healed…it’s a way of life!