Monthly Archives: April 2014

The 20 Year Trip

Grief

Yesterday would have been our 20th wedding anniversary. I always assumed we’d get there and then some. But we didn’t quite make it: Nineteen years and three months. I wasn’t sure how I’d handle the day. It turned out to be quite benign. Hmm, I wasn’t planning that word, it just sort of popped out there. Then it jumped off the screen and hit me between the eyes. It was two years ago today that we found out the lump wasn’t benign…

Back to yesterday though. I liked to surprise Kristi on our anniversaries. Not every year necessarily as that would have become predictable. On our first we escaped to the Napa Valley, on our fourth I surprised her with a chauffeured car to see Phantom in San Francisco. On our 10th we planned an east coast tour of Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia. But that was for the fall. So on our actual 10th anniversary we headed back to Napa for a couple of nights at a little place tucked in the hills. But the surprise was a new diamond and ring. Boy, did that put a smile on her face!

As we approached our 18th anniversary two years ago I was starting to think about how to celebrate #20. I was thinking about a trip back to Montana and Glacier National Park (where we started dating), or possibly somewhere in the tropics (where we honeymooned). Of course all that was lost in the haze of the ensuing health battle that started the day after our 18th. (18+1)

As this 20th anniversary inexorably approached I thought I’d be wistful for the trip that wasn’t to be. Then about a month ago I realized that the trip had already taken place! Our romp through tropical Australia, the adventures of New Zealand, the children learning to ski at Lake Tahoe in January…That was ultimately a celebration of our life together, a joyful declaration that her life lives on in our children. She would have loved it.

That realization released me to focus on the joys of the day and good memories from years past. I went for a bike ride in honor of Kristi, coached Matt’s baseball game and then went to dinner with friends. The day was actually better than benign…it was good.

Accepted!

Legacy, ,

Thanks for your prayers. The meeting last week was fantastic! I received the acceptance packet from the school on Friday. I am impressed by their care and concern for each of my children and their educational success.

The elder three will attend class three days per week while Matt will only attend two days. That means I’ll have him all to myself on Mondays. I’m already looking forward to those days together. And I can already feel some of the weight lifted from my shoulders as well. Katie will be in full bore college selection mode next year. That would have all fallen on me. Now she’ll have expert assistance guiding her through the process. Yes!

I know the children are nervous about the new situation but I also know they’ll adjust and thrive. I’ve talked to them about how we’ve all had to deal with tremendous change the past two years. I’ve explained that this schooling change is different than what we’ve been used to, but that on the grand scale of change they’ve experienced, this is on the lower end.

Now pray for diligence as we press through to finish this year’s lessons by late-June before we head to California for a family camp at Mt Hermon.

B-Gone, B-9, B-Healed…Its a way of life!