Talk about time flying! Wow, I’ve been trying to get a post done ever since Megan’s 14th birthday on the 6th, but life has me flying fast and when night falls so do my eyelids! I can’t possibly cover everything that’s happened in the past three weeks, but suffice to say each day is an adventure.
The surreal part of the journey is that when the emotions bubble up to the surface, the experience is like I’m watching my life happen but I’m separated from the actual events by a pane of glass. Its not an out of body type experience, its the realization that all these activities we’re doing… work, school, sports, lunch, whatever… seem and are totally normal. Yet the circumstances are anything but. It’s like I’m watching life move by on a conveyor belt while my emotions have their run. Or maybe my life is still and I’m the one moving, being carried along.
Yep, that’s it. I’m being carried. The Spirit of Jesus, the Comforter as he is referred to in the Gospel of John buoys me along in the swift moving emotional current. His obedience to sacrifice his life allowed my spiritual garbage to be removed so I could connect with his Father the same way he did. And in his resurrection, his defeat of death, I find that I am connected. That his Father has become my Father, and that my Father loves me dearly.
That love and connection have been golden these past three weeks as the relentless nature of the daily schedule provides few breaks. School had just started three weeks ago, now we are a full month into it. What has become patently evident is my inability to cover all the bases.
When despair reaches up and slaps me in the face, I have learned to simply whisper, “They’re your children Father. Please fill the gaps I can’t.” And he’s reminded me that even two parents can’t meet all their children’s needs. God has been carrying our family from the beginning and has no intention of dropping us now.
B-Gone, B-9, B-Healed, its a way of life…
Thank you for your continued honesty. Know that so many of us are still praying for you daily.
I have been widowed too, in 1979. My husband Dave, 30 yrs, was willed in a bicycle accident. I too had a similar experience as you, Chad. I felt like I was flying about 5 ft. above conversations. It was a safe protective place that I felt the warmth of the Holy Spirit encompass me. I was not a part of the group, just apart and protected in Him. This protective experience did not last long for me but it was vital and safe for the time when my emotions were so raw. I called it the bubble of the Holy Spirit Protection. He is good, always good.
B-Healed
Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Hearing and hearing. This morning I am hearing again and imagining, picturing these things from Matthew 8 and 9 Look unto Jesus the author and finisher of your faith. See Him touch people He is looking to the Father. Jesus said He did what He saw the Father doing. Imagine that.
17 times the bible says Jesus healed all 47 more times he healed one or more at a time. He saw His Father healing the sick. In the span of one hour (Lk 7, Mt 11) He healed the blind and the lame, cleansed lepers, healed the deaf and raised the dead, answering John the Baptist’s question, are you the One who was to come or should we keep on looking for a different one? Jesus did the will of the Father.
There had entered a Savior which was Jesus Christ the Lord. By His grace, through faith, we are saved. Our Savior came to do the will of the Father. He touched the sick and they were healed and He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to a saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. According to your faith be it unto you. Faith comes by hearing. I purpose to hear again and again dispelling doubt. Hear to believe and Be: to be saved – I am saved, salvation is provided; to be healed – I am healed, healing is provided. Jesus Is the same, yesterday, today and forever.