Tag Archives: Jesus

You.Create

you.create-blog-framed

I carried death yesterday. I was a pall bearer for my grandmother. Bearing the pall. Such a graphic image. The finality was palpable. As we eased her casket onto the rollers over the grave, I was glad to be relieved of my burden.

Death isn’t something we enjoy handling up close. But many of us who’ve been touched by it, refuse to let it go. We carry its pall around with us, letting it color everything we encounter. Of course that’s a choice. There is another alternative.

Create. Creation is the very essence of humanity. We learn in the opening pages of the Bible that God created humankind in his image. The ability to create is at the core of that likeness.

Create what?

Life. Goodness. Wholeness. Just to pick three.

I don’t think its accidental that the first image the Bible paints of Father God is the creator, the author, the originator of good life. He created only good. In fact when God answers Job, his answer is a recounting of all the natural wonders he created. And what he created was good. God isn’t the author of death.  He didn’t create it. He made life.

Jesus demonstrated this same penchant for creating good through the way he lived his life. To make sure no one got confused, he blatantly said: “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father.” In other words, the work I’m doing, this is the essence of my Dad’s heart.

And then he invited anyone who wanted to follow his example. To be a partner in bringing life, freedom and goodness. Then he enabled us to do that very thing through his death and resurrection.

So where does that leave you? You have a choice. Try to hang on, survive, avoid pain and just get by. Or go and create.

Bring life. Build up. Give.

Don’t think you’re equipped to do that? Are you using oxygen? You’ve got what it takes. You won’t be prepared, you won’t feel ready. Just start. It may not work out the first time. That’s ok. Keep after it.

Consistent effort will soon produce a habit of looking for ways to create goodness. Here’s a post I did last year about changing habitual actions in 30 days time.

The choice: carry around death (death is static, unchanging and unable to adapt) or create life, goodness, wholeness, etc?

You.Create (hint: its a command)

 

Designation VS Definition

My dad turned seventy on Friday. I gave him eight birthday cards, one for each decade he’s lived plus one for his special day. Each card had a title with a prominent name or position he wore for that decade: Donald (0-10), Donnie (10-20), Daddy (20-30), Dad (30-40), Father-In-Law (40-50), Pawpaw (50-60), Personal Trainer (60-70).

Within each card I listed other names and titles he used during that decade of his life. For the eighth card I titled it simply, Friend. Out of all his titles and names through the years, the one I like best now is that one. It’s how we relate to each other.

What started as a cute idea quickly became a profound lesson as I reflected on all his names and titles. I’ve worn many of the titles he has and many of them I hope to wear some day. But right now I’m wearing one he’s never worn: widower.

I never planned on having this title, at least not at this age. This is something that only happens to people my dad’s age, right? Right. But hiding from it doesn’t help. Denying it doesn’t deny the reality of the circumstance. It’s the correct designation. But what does it say about me? Will I let it define me and my future?

There it is. Designation versus definition.

With a life change as significant as Widower, you can’t help but be affected. It is certainly a defining moment. How I choose to handle this will affect the rest of my life. Will it be a designation for this period of my life or define the rest of my existence?

Widow and widower both are terms that grate on the nerves. They portend deep loss, broken hearts and dreams, grief, sadness and fear of the future. Will that be the definition I saddle on my life?

Its a hard place. But in that place I have found resolve. Resolve to continue to love, to expect restoration, to heal my heart, to laugh again and to build new dreams. Where did I get that resolve? Love.

The opposite of fear is not fearlessness, but love. In fact there’s an ancient Jewish saying that says, “Perfect love casts out fear…the one who fears is not perfected in love.” Where do you find that kind of love? Only one place I know. It was demonstrated perfectly in the life of one person. Jesus.

In the tumult of care-giving and fighting Kristi’s cancer and in the wilderness of fresh grief and loss, love is hard to hear and easy to let slip out of sight. Training helped me find it again. Training won’t heal your grief. The love of Jesus can. Training can help you find your way though until you discover it.

I don’t know how long I’ll wear this designation, widower, but it won’t define me. How about you?

Go for the Gold?

Mikaela Shiffrin capped a stellar year by winning the women’s slalom at the winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia yesterday. Already the reigning World Cup and World Champion in the event she added Olympic gold to her collection. Her star is going nowhere but up in the alpine skiing community. Everyone expects her to continue on her rising path, and barring injury, she could become a star in other events as well. There’s a good article on the young lady here.

But what if she made a different choice? What if she said, “You know what, I’ve hit the pinnacle of slalom skiing. Its been amazing! I’m still young, healthy and my life is ahead of me. I want to give back by becoming a teacher and coach.” She certainly has the credentials to do that. Any ski academy would love to have her. I wonder how the press would react. Social Media? I honestly don’t know. It would shock a lot of folks. Someone willingly laying aside the adulation of thousands, a career and endorsement deals and seeking to lift others up.

What if she said this, “I’m retiring. I want to get married, settle down and raise a family. I’ve become the best in the sport, now I want my children to have that same opportunity. I want to be there for them. I want to coach them and nurture them and give them every opportunity to reach their dreams.” Can you imagine the reaction?

Yet isn’t that exactly what her mother has done for her? She has traveled with Mikaela for the last two years on the World Cup, defying the circuit officials in the process, so her daughter had the full support and care she needed as a young teen on the road. Her father was weeping when she won. He’s no doubt been busting his behind to pay the piper for the world cup tours. A prodigious amount of commitment, self sacrifice and love had gone into achieving that win. In fact the article linked above notes how both her father and mother were very deliberate in guiding her to this success.

How would her own parents respond to Mikaela stepping aside to coach or raise a family? After they had labored so many years to get her to this point only to see her lay it aside in order to give back and teach others how to do what she does or pour into her own children…how would they feel?

I don’t have an answer here and I’m not pushing for Mikaela to choose one way or another. I’m simply posing the question to make us think. We love a hero. But a hero who steps aside to lift up others? We’re not sure what to with that.

I’m reminded of this passage: “Though being in very nature God, he did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but relinquished that, emptying himself and taking on the form of a servant, clothed in humanity.”

It was that type of life that actually beat death. That one who had been at the pinnacle of all things and yet gave of himself to make that life available to all people. And many folks still don’t know what to with Him either.

18 + 467 A Good Day

Phew, this week is almost behind us. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were flat out hard. I found myself in my room with tears streaming down my face several times. But Thursday and Friday were MUCH better. Today even counts as a good day!

Even the head cold / mold allergies I’m dealing with haven’t dampened my spirits. I still bump up against Kristi’s absence a thousand times a day but it hasn’t derailed me the past three days. Progress is good.

This morning started with a 45 mile bike ride with friends from the triathlon club. I changed the route at the end and instead of riding home I went to my parent’s house because my dad picked up the children and mom had beignets and bacon ready for consumption. After burning 3000 calories on the ride I was ready to refuel!

With a face covered in powdered sugar and four happy children we came home to do a little cleaning and then head over to a friends house for lunch and swimming. Tonight is a Phil Keaggy concert here in Georgetown. Indeed it’s shaping up to be a fine day.

Yesterday morning’s family worship time was helpful too. I played the guitar, we all sang and then I read Psalm 93. It references the Israelites not trusting God and not entering His planned rest for them in the promise land. Then I flipped over to Hebrews chapter 4 where the writer picks up that same theme, quoting Psalm 95 and says, today we still have the opportunity to enter his rest through Jesus. And then I kept reading…

At the end of the chapter is the verse that says Jesus is our high priest but one who sympathizes with us in our times of weakness and did so without sin. It came to me at that moment as I sat there with the children looking at me, that Jesus had to deal with the loss of a parent. Joseph is not in the picture by the time Jesus begins his ministry. I shared with the children that they can talk to Jesus about what it feels like to lose a parent. But as I shared this encouragement with them I was thinking, “yeah, but he never lost a spouse. Doesn’t know what I’ve feeling.”

Then the calm voice of the Spirit said, “His bride rejected him. He came to the Jews, but they killed him. They wouldn’t listen to him. His heart and body were broken by his first love.” Whoa! I wasn’t ready for that. Then I heard further…”that’s why he loves the church…his people are his bride and we’ve been lovingly grafted into his family tree. We are the restoration of his bride.”

I shared that word immediately with the children and they liked it too. God is good. He has walked our path before and he is walking it with us now. He is present, he hears, he sees and there will be restoration. “We will work together with him to bring about every good thing.” (Rom 8:28 paraphrased)

Indeed, today is a good day!

B-Gone, B-9, B-Healed