at 6:45AM this morning. He was vibrating with excitement as the day had finally arrived to celebrate his 8th birthday. His actual birthday is the 16th but we will be on the road then so we spent the day at a local amusement park with two of his buddies.

It was a great day, full of life, joy, energy and lots of laser tag! The best part is I was able to enjoy it and engage with him without sorrow, allowing myself to be emotionally free and present. That freedom came the day after Mother’s Day last month.

We had just returned from celebrating what could have been a very difficult first Mother’s Day without their mother. I asked and the children unanimously requested to return to the nearby resort where we spent our final family getaway all together just two weeks before she died last year. We had a great time during the 24 hours we were there and I realized that I was focused on and enjoying what I have been given in my children and not focused on the loss. It was liberating.

As we returned home, we stopped off at friends to pick up our dog. One thing led to another and we stayed for dinner. And that’s when the diaper genie came up during a story during the meal.

The diaper genie was a must-have device for new parents to store poopy diapers. Right. Instead of throwing the single nasty nappy away, you stored it in the device until you had a literal S**t-load of diapers to throw out! Who thought this was a good idea? We started laughing about it and soon my tickle box (that’s what my mom calls it) was turned over. My kids were both enthralled and appalled at the same time. I lost it! (In a good way)

I haven’t laughed like that for more than two years! I was crying, lungs searing from lack of oxygen, face sore from grinning. I needed it. It was a breakthrough moment on the road of healing. It felt so good to laugh that deeply. Peace has replaced the laughter. A really good peace.

May you laugh again!